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Everyone literally calls me "mo" like the bartender in the Simpsons. Please talk to me. I'm friendly I promise.

doctortveit:

things that should be allowed to be used in essays:

  • i shit you not
  • you feel me
  • no but get this
  • i’m just sayin
  • let me explain you a thing
  • and yeah

animeliberationfront:

I literally overcame self esteem issues by making ironically over-arrogant claims because even if you’re joking about something a lot you start to believe it and that can totally work in a good way if you let it


iswearimnotnaked:

my brother left his drink at taco bell and was like “where’s my baja blast?” and my sister just quietly whispers “in the baja past”


princeowl:

teabrittle:

princeowl:

why would you ever idolize cops when firefighters exist

yeah seriously have you ever heard of “corrupt firefighter” 

what would a ‘corrupt firefighter’ even be. he put out that fire with a little TOO much water. he was a little rough with the cat he rescued from a tree for a little old lady


perchu:

katara:

why are people so obsessed with “top or bottom” 

honestly im just excited to have a bunk bed


the-helpful-frog:

sometimes-butts:

ibnuprofen:

hotdog-friend:

is that butter

no it’s stonehenge

I can’t believe it’s not butter

The fact that I laughed at this should probably indicate something.

the-helpful-frog:

sometimes-butts:

ibnuprofen:

hotdog-friend:

is that butter

no it’s stonehenge

I can’t believe it’s not butter

The fact that I laughed at this should probably indicate something.


killself:

REMEMBER WHEN THEY TOLD US NOT TO SPEAK TO STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET 

image


hamburgurl:

I’m like 25% funny and 85% bad at math


codeinewarrior:

what did you do today? doesn’t matter we will all die eventually


thundercrumbs:

obesealpaca:

do you think he knows

DOCTOR FISHER GET OFF THAT MANS FACE YOU’RE A SCIENTIST NOW ACT LIKE ONE

thundercrumbs:

obesealpaca:

do you think he knows

DOCTOR FISHER GET OFF THAT MANS FACE YOU’RE A SCIENTIST NOW ACT LIKE ONE


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